Sunday, June 29, 2014

Welcome to Sunday School'd Blog - It's Sacrilicious



After nine months away from the blog game, I'm back! But now I'll be taking the easy way out and only blogging once a week. Don't blame me. If any of you ever clicked the side ads on the BYB maybe I could have made a profession out of this. Instead I made 55 cents. So enjoy this once a week Sunday blog. Until I quite doing it, which will probably be soon.


F My Life Moment of the Sabbath

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

LaBeouf's Got Beef

Shia LaBeouf seems to be having a good week. While his former franchise Transformers gave us the first film of 2014 crack the $100 million mark in its opening weekend, LaBeouf amused himself by chasing around a homeless guy and attempting to steal his cap, interrupting a Broadway play, getting tossed out of Studio 54 for smoking and spitting on cops. 

From TMZ.com:

Shia LaBeouf went ballistic when confronted by security of a Broadway show Thursday night, hurling expletives and screaming everyone's favorite Hollywood phrase, "Do you know who the f*** I am?"  
Shia was at a showing of "Cabaret" at the legendary Studio 54 Thursday night ... when he was smoking inside -- which is against the law -- and "alarming people" by his conduct by being extremely loud and obscene. 
Witnesses say Shia appeared extremely drunk, reportedly played grab ass with some of the actors on stage and then flew into a rage, spitting on people. 
According to the criminal complaint, LaBeouf stood up in the middle of  "Cabaret" and was yelling loudly at the actors on stage, disrupting the performance.  
When security confronted LaBeouf in an effort to remove him from the theater, he screamed, "F*** you. This is f***ing bullshit. Do you know my life? Do you know who the f*** I am? Do you know who I am?"  
According to the complaint, once he was brought into the station for processing, LaBeouf spit at a police officer ... landing at the officer's feet. 
Before Shia LaBeouf got arrested he argued with a homeless guy on the streets of New York ... over a hat. 


According to an eyewitness, a few hours before his arrest ... Shia confronted a homeless guy on the street. It appeared to the witness as if Shia thought the hat was his and Shia was trying to get it back.  
The eye witness tells TMZ, Shia was acting as if he knew the guy, but Shia seemed "whacked out" and was making no sense. The witness claims Shia kept saying, "It's me, Shia."

TMZ posits that Shia started to go off the rails sometime before 5 p.m., after peacefully watching soccer and before angrily screaming at a stranger on the street in front of Three Monkeys. Sounds more like he belongs at Twelve Monkeys Bar. 

LaBeouf’s shenanigans come about a month after he got tossed from some other bar for pissing in the parking lot. Can’t blame him quite as much for that one. If whizzing in the parking lot got you banned from places I wouldn’t be welcome at any bar in Lubbock or any Tech sporting event. 

Chin up, Shia. Maybe they’ll put you on house arrest and you can make a sequel to that terrible Hitchcock adaptation you made when you were a kid. 



Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place



You know it had to be an American kid that got trapped in the vagina sculpture. Every other kid at that school walks past the giant vag multiple times a day without batting an eye but the American kid has to climb in the thing as a goof. 

How are we supposed to improve our image in the world when our best and brightest can’t curb the desire to crawl turn a piece of art into a cheap joke about getting stuck in large genitalia?

I can’t stand being so hypocritical. If that was me it would have taken the jaws of life to get me out because I would have tried to cram my whole body in it so I could stick my head out. 


Group Text Moment of the Sabbath

A day at the airport


They're Playing Basketball! (well, they're not but they're deciding where they'll play next year)


There’s a lot going on in the world of sports right now. We’ve got the U.S. advancing to the Round of 16 in the World Cup, Wimbledon going into its second week and Tiger returning in not so rare form at Colonial. 
But what could be more exciting than free agency beginning in the NBA? Everything, you say. Well, in the nine months I’ve been gone I didn’t see any of you start a blog so you will read every damn last word I have to say about a sport that doesn’t start again for months. 

The most intriguing matter in the NBA of course, is The Decision Part Deux: The Race for Lebron. The Miami Heat now appear to have pulled back into the lead for King James’ services after Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade and Udonis Haslem opted out of their contracts. This frees up $55 million in cap space for the Heat to add free agents. 

One would presume, however foolishly that Wade, Bosh and Haslem will be convinced to take substantial pay cuts to lure in another prime free agent (Carmelo Anthony) and convince Lebron to stay. Wade should see this pay cut less as a sacrifice or a slight and more as a statement of his value because, while there are certainly some teams stupid enough to pay him what he made for the Heat in 2013, teams that don’t have to rely on Star Wars theme nights to sell tickets would question paying him more than $10 million a year. And in the case of Udonis Haslem, I hope he got a least a handshake deal from Pat Riley because I think he may have just signed his own career death warrant.

The Heat will most likely be competing for Carmelo Anthony with the Chicago Bulls, Houston Rockets, Dallas Mavericks and L.A. Lakers. The Bulls and Rockets can offer the most money, with the Bulls being the best fit, unless adding a terrible defender to the worst defensive team in the league is fitting. 


The Lakers have the least realistic plan and hope to sign both Lebron and Carmelo by offering almost $10 million less than Kobe Bryant makes to partner the dynamic duo up with a 36-year-old who missed all of last season and a guy named Swaggy P. The only thing the Lakers have in their favor is the offer to Lebron, Carmelo or both to name their own head coach, because apparently, coaching is the last piece of any championship puzzle.

Anthony’s current team, the New York Knicks, have obtained Jose Calderon and set their sights on poaching Laker free agent Pau Gasol in order to entice Anthony. Does Carmelo have some sort of affinity for Spaniards that only Phil Jackson knows about? I know his wife’s name is LaLa but I don’t think its Spanish, it’s just stupid.

This should all make for an interesting few weeks or not, depending on your perspective. But its better than watching a bunch of dudes chase a white ball around for 90 minutes.  

At Least He Put the Seat Down After

Man rams Texas house with SUV, asks to use bathroom: 

REUTERS

San Antonio - A Texas man was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving after he plowed his sport utility vehicle into a San Antonio house and then asking the homeowner if he could use the bathroom, police and a TV news report said on Tuesday.

John Rose, 59, has been charged with driving while intoxicated, police said. A lawyer was not listed on his arrest record.

The homeowner, George Vasquez, told local broadcaster KSAT that he was watching television on Monday night when the SUV rammed into his home.

"I was watching the news ... sounds like an explosion at first, a couple seconds after that ... and here comes a car right through my living room," Vasquez told the TV station.

Vasquez asked the driver if he was all right, and Rose then asked if he could use his restroom, the station reported.

Most people are going to read this story and think Josh Rose was entirely in the wrong for asking to use the bathroom of the man whose home he destroyed but, as usual, allow me to play Devil’s Advocate. 

George Vasquez’ home has already demolished. Forcing Mr. Rose to piss his pants or whip it out in the yard is only going to exacerbate the problem. In fact, it could lead to public indecency charges and expose the Vasquez family to some sort of flashing type incident. 

If Rose was already in the house when he exited the car, he may have even micturated on the Vasquez’ flooring or furniture. Asking to use the bathroom was probably the first sensible decision Rose made all day. 

Wal Mart Person of the Sabbath


Let Freedom Ring!

Red, White and Full


Friday we will celebrate the 237th anniversary of the birth of our nation and that a bunch of aristocratic white males didn’t want to pay their taxes. And what better way to celebrate America and the freedom that is allowed by being an American than watching a bunch of dudes shove meat in their mouths for a few minutes? 

The greatest living American athlete, Joey Chestnut, will put his championship belt on the line at the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest and has said he plans to beat his record of 69 hot dogs in 2013. I wish Joey all the luck in the world on this monumental feat. To honor a true patriot here is a link breaking down some of Joey’s most epic eating milestones

Hit the patriotic music!

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YouTube Video of the Sabbath


Due to a long, self-imposed hiatus from blogging, I was unaware of these honest movie trailers but they seem to be all the rage. Kind of remind me of the skits on Chappelle’s Show on what movies would be like in real life. 

I Shot Up the Sheriff

Disgraced ‘sheriff of the year’ who traded meth for sex gets 15 months in prison

by Isabelle Khurshudyan/Washingtonpost.com

The tables have turned on Patrick Sullivan. Once nationally lauded for his anti-drug crusades, the former sheriff admitted to a drug problem and was sentenced to 15 months in prison for repeated probation violations in a meth-for-sex case, the Denver Post reported.

The 71-year-old, a one-time national sheriff of the year, missed 36 urine tests and tested positive for methamphetamine or alcohol 10 times in more than two years of probation, his probation officer told reporters. Chief District Court Judge William Sylvester went so far as to call the number of missed and diluted urine samples “extraordinary.”

Sullivan pleaded guilty to possession of methamphetamine and solicitation of a prostitute in 2012 after an undercover sting was set up by his gay lover and another man. The sting revealed Sullivan was trading meth for sex and led to his arrest in 2011. The arrest followed a 911 caller’s report months earlier that Sullivan was at his home trying to get three recovering addicts back on drugs, according to the Associated Press.

During an extensive interview with Colorado deputies in 2012, Sullivan admitted to smoking meth, giving a man a “date-rape” drug before taking advantage of the man sexually, according to the Denver Post.

In an interview with deputies, Sullivan said he was bisexual and admitted to smoking meth but not injecting it. Sullivan was one of the most vocal critics of the meth epidemic in the 1990s.

Sylvester told reporters Sullivan had opportunities to rehabilitate. Probation officer Hallie Miller told reporters his attempts at reform were disingenuous as he often made excuses for his behavior, once blaming a positive test on a neighbor drugging him at a barbecue.
“He sees himself as above the law,” Miller said.

Sullivan was seen as a hero in 1989 after he rescued two deputies during a gunman’s rampage, according to the Associated Press. His record was so distinguished the National Sheriffs’ Association named him its top sheriff in 2001. He continued overseeing security for a school district even after he resigned, and the Arapahoe County jail was named after him.

I’m just about sick of seeing hero cops besmirched by witch hunts like the one that took place in Arapahoe County. Patrick Sullivan had one of the toughest jobs known to man and he performed admirably. So when he’s not on the clock he likes to ease the tension with some recreational meth and bisexual date-rape. Small price to pay for the safety of 600,000 Coloradans. Instead Sullivan was set up by those he trusted most, meth addicted gay prostitutes. Who can you trust these days if you can’t trust a meth addicted gay prostitute?

P.S. What kind of school district hires a guy accused of trading meth for sex and rape? I’m sure some sex offenders are readying their applications.